Baby describes her lockdown

These are strange times we live in. If my one-year-old daughter were to describe her new life in confinement, I am certain it would go something like this:

“I used to go to the nursery 4 days a week because mummy and daddy had to go to work. I always thought that work was something pretty and fun because they went there so often and for so many hours. 
Since a few weeks ago, mummy does not go to work, but she still needs to work. I want mummy to play with me, but she always says: «Non, non I need to work.» Then she spends all day in front of the phone or her computer. Sometimes she does click click. Sometimes she does tac tac. Or sometimes she talks back on the screen. I see faces on the screen. I always wave hello, but the people do not always wave back. How rude!

I am very disappointed with Mummy’s work. It is not how I imagined it. It is not nice and fun. Daddy’s work sounds much nicer. He is a doctor of the hearts and that is why he speaks the language of love. Each time he says that mummy rolls her eyes. I do not understand why. That seems better than being in front of the computer all day and talking to rude people.

I used to often go out, but we hardly go out lately. Last week, mummy and I did not go out  at all, Mummy was coughing a lot and so was I. They used to call me « Bébé de l’amour » but since last week they call me « Bébé Corona».  

Last week, mummy was not very nice to daddy. Daddy did all the groceries and each time he came back, mummy was like:  « Non, non. That is not what I asked you to buy. »
And then she would ask: « Where is the butter?» And daddy would say: « Oh I forgot to buy it. »
And then she would ask for something else. And then daddy would take his bike and go again to the supermarket. 
It happened 3 times last week. 

I miss the nursery

I miss going to the nursery. At the nursery, I had a lot of friends: I had snooty Jeroen, dirty Silas, George the gilet jaune , and then there was cutie Livia. We had so much fun all together. We licked all the toys, we shared the food we found on the floor and we all cried at the same time. Ah these were the good old days!

When I am at home, mummy doesn’t like it that I eat everything from the floor. Each time I do it, she rushes towards me, says: « Open your mouth, spit. » She does not understand that the food tastes much better when it comes from the floor.

Mummy is French and daddy is Dutch. Mummy does not speak Dutch. She says if you speak this language for too long, your throat will hurt. Daddy doesn’t like it when she says that. Daddy says he speaks French, but mummy always says: «Non, non you don’t. » So they speak together in English. 

Once, dirty Silas told me: « If your mummy is French and your daddy is Dutch, then that makes you Belgium.» Is that bad? 

Living in isolation

Mummy used to wear beautiful dresses. Now I only see her in jeans and t-shirts. If you ask me,  every day she looks more and more tired. If only she followed daddy’s advice: to sleep when I sleep,  her life would be so much easier! 

Today we went for a family walk. Mummy, daddy, our cat, Mao, and me. Daddy forced us to stop on the street and we had to look into our neighbor’s living room. We could see her back and her very white hair. She was standing very still.  
Then suddenly, daddy said: “Yup, she moved. She is not dead. We can continue our walk.” 
Mummy chuckled and said, “Oh, doctor’s humor!“
Daddy looked at her seriously and said: “No, it’s daddy’s second job: real estate agent.”

Mummy and daddy are worried that an economic crisis is going to happen. But during our walk, I saw that all the shops were so busy that people had to queue to be let in. And now in front of some shops they even drew some squares  for people to play hopscotch. Mummy and daddy do not know what they are talking about. 

Mummy says: « The world is now full of latex and hand sanitizers. It is like the world has become a version of 50 shades of Grey written by Marie Kondo. »

Lately, Mummy and daddy are not having a healthy life. They do not go out as much and they do not see friends anymore. They only see each other and me. I do not think it is healthy to live in isolation like this. “

Good luck everybody! 

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